okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
