office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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