Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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