addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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