I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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