It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
