Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
