I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize