so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
