I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
