Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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