My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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