i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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