Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
