You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
