you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
