Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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