No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
