Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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