trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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