glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
honey bunches of taint.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
