btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
