I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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