How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize