my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
