Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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