yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
