In the future we'll all be gay
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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