I have demons in me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
