last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize