The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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