and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize