Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
