Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize