she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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