so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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