do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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