how can u be prego again
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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