u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
