I think I won the penis lottery.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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