did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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