you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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