I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
