I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
