For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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