I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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