I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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