Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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