I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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