this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
