my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
