So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
