You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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