problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
