fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
