so that wasnt chicken after all
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
