At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize