Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
