Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
