His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The best revenge is premature balding
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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